Asase Ba Podcast - S2E1: Be Careful How You Talk at Home (Aunty Felicia's Ghanaian Story)
Transcript
[Asase Ba Theme Music]
Michelle: Hello and welcome to Asase Ba, a podcast that honours oral tradition and shines light on Ghanaian cultures and stories that are often untold or silenced. I’m your host Michelle and my pronouns are she and her.
Welcome back! Officially season two. It’s been almost a year since season one and I’m really excited to be back. I feel better rested and ready for season two. I know last time when I ended off season one, I needed that short break but it turned into a longer break which makes sense with the current climate and everything.
But yeah, I really needed that. And I feel rejuvenated and revived and ready to be back.
How’s everyone doing? I know there’s a lot going on. 2020 has been a whirlwind of stuff, of a lot. We have COVID-19, the global uprisings, protests against anti-Blackness and oppression, anti-queerness, transphobia. I really hope everyone feels like they have a source of community, people who can at least validate and affirm them.
And if it doesn’t exist physically, locally, I hope that people have that digital space where they feel like they can be heard and seen and affirmed. I’ve always and often went to the digital realm of things to feel that way, my digital communities. And that comes in the form of the podcasts I listen to and the independent media that I consume, and all of that. So I hope people have that digital community.
And part of the reason for creating this podcast is to develop that digital community for Ghanaians so I hope that you have that and at least you see this space as a place where you can have that community if you don’t have it locally. Or if you want an additional space where you can feel affirmed and validated in your existence.
So season two! First of all, I wanna say that sharing goes a long way. If you enjoy Asase Ba, if you like this podcast, subscribe so that you can get updates on whenever a new episode drops. And please share with your friends, your family, your community. Tell your friend, your brother, your sister, your aunty, your coworker, your cousins to listen.
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So another way to support Asase Ba is by donating. As the sole creator of Asase Ba, I exert a lot of labour to make sure that this comes to life. I produce, I interview, I edit and I do all the things. So if you wanna support me as an independent creator, you can support via PayPal and the link is in the show notes so check it out there.
And you know, just do this if you’re able to. I know corona has impacted a lot of people so only do this if you’re able to. And the other way to support is also by sharing and amplifying the messages and all that. So thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone.
So season two is all about the elders and the older adults in the community -- their stories, their experiences. And I just feel like we need a space, especially in modern society and within our technology spaces such as podcasting, we need a space for elders as well and older adults.
It’s not only for the youth. We need to amplify the voices and experiences and stories of the older folks in our community. And just doing this season, which focuses on elders, I also wanted to show the complexity and nuance and humanity of their own unique experiences and bring their voices to the forefront.
And also as a youth myself, just conducting the interviews I've learned a lot from the elders and I hope you are able to learn something as well. I mean they are a great source of wisdom but also just so to keep their stories preserved and their stories heard and stuff like that.
And to show, as I said, their nuance and the humanity and their own unique experiences so they too can be affirmed and validated by telling their stories. I really hope you enjoy this. So alright so let's launch into the episode.
So I interview Aunty Felicia. She talks about growing up in Ghana during Independence and also just her family's journey from Togo to the Volta region to Kumasi, and her involvement with The Young Pioneers, herbalism (really, really cool discussion there), immigrating to Canada in 1970, the Ghanaian associations she's been a part of, intelligentials within those groups, connecting with the Ewe community, her work as a hairstylist and salon owner, how she practices self-care, racism in the church, taking care an helping seniors during COVID-19, wisdom for the youth, and much, much more.
It's really great talking to an elder with her experiences. She's 74 so it was really great hearing her life experiences and her stories and all that. You guys will enjoy this episode so stay tuned and here we go. See you after!
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Michelle: So Aunty Felicia, thank you so much for joining me today. Can you please introduce yourself?
Aunty Felicia: My name is Mrs. Felicia Botchway. Actually it is Oppong Botchway. My husband's actual last name is Oppong, his family name is Oppong but he kind of dropped it as he was growing up. So the name is Felicia. I'm known in Toronto here as Mrs. Felicia Botchway.
Michelle: Okay, perfect. If you want to share your age and what you're really passionate about, you can add that in as well.
Aunty Felicia: The past June 2nd, this month, I turned 74.
Michelle: Yes and happy birthday again Aunty!
Aunty Felicia: Thank you very much.
Michelle: Okay, that's great. So where were you born and raised Aunty?
Aunty Felicia: I was born and bred in Kumasi, Fante Newtown in Kumasi, Ghana. I grew up there and it was fun growing up. We are from a family of ten, nine siblings by my mother’s side and then I think about seven or eight from my father’s second wife and a previous child he had. So we were all about 14.
Michelle: Wow so that's a really big family. So you were never bored then?
Aunty Felicia: No never bored. I’m saying 40 but pardon my Math, it’s a little more than that because we were about 17 to be exact.
Michelle: Wow yeah, that's certainly a big, big family. So Aunty, pre-interview you mentioned that your family is Ewe. How did your family end up in Kumasi?
Aunty Felicia: My parents migrated to Kumasi. My parents were cousins so it was difficult for us growing up knowing that my mom and dad are from the same family. So when people ask where’s your father from, where’s your mother from, I say well they are from the same family. They were cousins. So they more or less come from the same place and I know we are from the royal family of Anyarko which is Abaa of Anyarko.
That is where my great grandfathers originally migrated from to Togo during the fishing trips. So I heard my great grandfather or my great-great-grandfather settled in a village in Keta, in Togo.
And that's where my parents were born but they used to travel and told us the story of where they were originally from which is Keta in the Volta region and also Anyarko. Those places where they migrated from to go to Togo and then my parents migrated to Kumasi.
Michelle: Okay I see. So from Togo and then to the Volta region and then to Kumasi?
Aunty Felicia: Yes.
Michelle: Okay and growing up in Kumasi, how was your experience like in terms of just around you, the environment. What kind of things did you enjoy doing as a child?
Aunty Felicia: As immigrant parents, they have to struggle to survive so my mom used to sell stuff so we used to help her in her selling. So after school, you help your mom. She had a store at the Asafo market.
After school, we go there and help. Then you know, I mean normal growing up in Ghana: you go to church, you join your friends. Because my father was a very strict father, I didn't have a big, big, huge social life.
So from school, you are home, you’re doing your homework. You go out to play with the neighborhood kids and that's it. Especially with the girls in the family, we were not used to having the opportunity to go to parties and dances and stuff like that. My father would say “it's very immoral” so he didn't allow us to be involved in those things.
Michelle: Oh okay and how did you feel about that? Did you feel like you were missing out on anything or how did you feel?
Aunty Felicia: Well, yes. When we were young, you see your friend going to these things and you also want to do it. But then it depends on the family you grow up in. On my mother’s side, I had six brothers and they were very strict with me and anytime they see even boys talking to you, it was a big problem. So when The Young Pioneers came out, we joined and he allowed us to do a bit but not very much.
Michelle: Okay and Aunty can you explain what The Young Pioneers is for those who don't know?
Aunty Felicia: When Kwame Nkrumah was in power, he believed in communism so he tried to bring communism ideas to Ghana at that time. So he formed The Young Pioneers with communist ideology where the young ones will grow up. We were like young soldiers. When there's any event in Ghana, The Young Pioneers will match and will do things that will glorify Nkrumaism.
Michelle: Okay and what age were you when you joined?
Aunty Felicia: I was around maybe 13, 14, or 15.
Michelle: Aunty, so that was around the 50s/60s?
Aunty Felicia: In the 60s.
Michelle: Okay so Kwame Nkrumah came into power, leadership in 1957 right? That's when Ghana got its independence so you must have seen such a huge change right with that transition. What was your experience like witnessing Ghana change so much and become an independent nation?
Aunty Felicia: You mean from then and now?
Michelle: No like from before 1957 and then after 1957.
Aunty Felicia: Well before 1957, the country was being ruled by white men. We were in a British colony. After Independence, Nkrumah tried to uphold to what the British left behind and also building a lot of factories.
We had the canning factories, and all kinds of factories. so it wasn't hard for people to get a job to do. So the young people weren’t traveling abroad and traveling all over Africa to find work or for greener pastures because they had work to do.
But after Nkrumah was overthrown, the leaders who came could not uphold what Nkrumah did. So most of the factories were closed down and economically, it became very hard. So from there on, things became harder in Ghana I think.
Michelle: Did your family and yourself feel the hardships of the economy going down and with all the coups happening. How did it affect you and your family?
Aunty Felicia: Yes I did.
Michelle: It must have been a very difficult time then.
Aunty Felicia: It was. It was a change for so many people, so many politicians had to run away from Ghana because of the new leaders that came. And then African politics is not straightforward like here, so if you are in another regime the new regime may not like your ideologies or your ideas. Some people have to be killed, some ran away, so there was a lot of turmoil.
Michelle: Yeah that's really difficult. I actually wanted to circle back because pre-interview we had a conversation on the phone and then you mentioned that you grew up in a family where your grandfather was a chief and then you know he passed on a lot of his knowledge down to your mom and then to you in terms of herbalism and stuff like that.
Right now we're going through corona and all of that kind of stuff. What are some things that you learned from your family in regards to herbalism?
Aunty Felicia: My grandfather was a chief and also an herbalist. As I was growing up, I was young maybe around 5-6-7 my mother would take me to the village and I used to see him heal a lot of people with all kinds of herbs.
And one herb that I remember very well that he was using a lot of was garlic and aloe vera. I saw him using a lot of that, even at that young age. So my mother also picked some. So as we were growing, she will boil a whole lot of herbs in a pot. She had about six pots and every morning before we go to school, we have to drink a cup each from these pots.
So it kept us. She had 10 of us but none of us ever had any serious diseases or ever end up in the hospital with any sickness or disease. She used the neem tree and the neem leaves a lot. When somebody got a fever, she would pick the neem trees, oil it, and make you drink some.
She would bathe you with some and also make you cover your head and inhale the vapor so I saw her using a whole lot of herbs when somebody has as an eye stye or something like that. She would send you to pick this leaf that has some milky stuff in it.
We’d pick it and bring it and she’d break it and put it on the eyeball. So she was using a whole lot of herbs when we were growing up so I know that it helped us a lot.
Africans don’t write anything down and it is passed on only by what you see. If they had written a book about all the herbs they were using, it would be good. We wouldn’t be in this problem that we’re in now. Because we've lost all that good treatments so we depend mostly on the medication that a white man is giving us.
With this pandemic, I saw a lot of it on YouTube, people giving a whole lot of recipes. But in most of the recipes, I still see most of the ingredients that my mother used to use like cloves, ginger, garlic, and all the other spices that I use today.
I saw my mother use some of them. so most of them are in some of the recipes that are being shown on YouTube. Myself, during this pandemic, I boil sorrel which is hibiscus flowers—dry hibiscus flowers with pineapple, garlic, cloves and some other spices that I don't even know the name. But I remember that when I see them I know my mom used to use them so I'll boil them all together and be drinking it. I give it to my family too. I ask them to drink it.
Michelle: That's good, that's nice. And the fact that you said we need to find a way to just record all of this knowledge and wisdom and stuff...Aunty you're still recalling a lot of the things that your family did. Maybe you can write something down and pass it on.
Aunty Felicia: You see, it’s true. You see when you are watching them, they pick all these herbs but you don't see how the preparation is. All you know is that you see them prepare it. Sometimes they boil it, sometimes they grind it, sometimes they make it into an ashy paste and sometimes they even dry it in a pot on the stove and it becomes like a black powder. It’s smooth and then they use that also for rashes and all sort of sicknesses.
But as I'm saying, we didn't pay that much attention because I mean it’s your parents doing something and usually if your parent will sit you down and say “I want you to learn this” then you learn it. Otherwise, as you’re growing up as children, sometimes even your parents are doing something and you want to know what it is, they will tell you “free ho ko. you are too nosy.”
“Wo pɛ asɛm dɔdɔ. With that, you know even when you see them doing something, you watch it with your eyes but most times you can’t ask any questions. I wish I had known all those and known the recipes and how it's done. It will be so great that I will write a big book about it.
But what I know is that the herbs work. Most of the trees and flowers around us are God's prescription for us to use. But because we've lost history, nothing was written down, we won't be able to recapture all those memories, good recipes that we were left by our forefathers' systems.
Michelle: I guess we can do what we can with that because even with this podcast that I'm doing, one of my goals is just to honour that kind of oral tradition that we have as a culture by interviewing different people and getting their stories and getting them to talk about their experiences. So I guess we can do it in the way that we kind of know how to, which is oral tradition. I know there are some cracks and some things may be lost but you know, we do what we can.
Aunty Felicia: Right now in Ghana, in the 90s and the 2000s I see a whole lot of herbalists doing all kinds of medicines in Ghana. We even have a herbal college where people go and learn how to use herbs. So I think it's still alive but I don't know to what degree or how good it is.
Because you have a lot of herbal medications on the market in Ghana, people are using them. But we can't really verify how good they are because people are still dying a lot in Ghana from all kinds of diseases. So I don't know if it's the herb that is helping them.
Sometimes you hear stories of somebody using herbs and dying. It still may be good but it's just like here with the white man’s medication that we are using. Sometimes people develop allergic reactions so it comes with a whole lot of instructions like “don’t use this, while you’re this” but I guess that is what we are lacking in Africa. We don't have all those instructions so it may be good. Some herbs may be good but it's not good for everybody because of allergic reactions by individuals.
Michelle: Yeah, I guess people got to definitely know how different herbs interact with each other and not just use it all willy nilly. They have to have the knowledge.
Aunty Felicia: Exactly.
Michelle: Let's return back to after all the coups and the economic hardships that was going on in Ghana. What were you doing as a teenager? How was life like? How were you coping with everything and all of that stuff?
Aunty Felicia: Well as you are growing up as a teenager, you know your parents are looking after you so whatever is available that's what you have you. You can't do much about it. But after you grow up on your own, then that is when you know to take care of yourself and economically you start to think of what I should do and what I shouldn’t do.
Michelle: And what kind of things did you like doing as a young adult teenager living in Ghana?
Aunty Felicia: As I said, I lived with my parents so I was spoiled. Being the eldest of my mother’s daughters— she had four sons and then me — so I was pretty much very spoiled. I just lived with my parents and enjoyed whatever I had to enjoy at that time until I got married.
Michelle: Okay, did you get married in Ghana?
Aunty Felicia: Yeah. I worked a bit here and there. I got married, then we went to Liberia. I taught there in Liberia for a while and then we came back to Ghana. I got pregnant there. I came came back to Ghana to have a son and then three months later, we left for Canada.
Michelle: What made you decide to leave for Canada?
Aunty Felicia: Well it’s the man’s decision, my husband’s decision. He wanted to travel abroad from Africa so he actually wanted to be in the US. But then according to him, he was in transit here to visit some friends before going to the US.
And then when he got here—it's not like today that they are throwing us out. At that time when he got here, they asked him. He said “I’'ll be in transit for a couple of weeks and I’ll go to the US.”
So he asked him “what does he do” and he said “I'm a businessman.” He said “do you have any money on you” and he said “yes.” So they said “okay, what we’ll do is we’ll give you a work permit. Stay here for three months. If you don't like it, you can go to the US.”
And then he said the immigration officer told him to watch channel 7 every night. “Every day watch channel 7. That is the US channel and then you see if you still want to go there but if you don't, you can stay here in Canada.”
Michelle: Wow back in the day when they were begging people to stay here.
Aunty Felicia: Yeah! So three months later, I came. I joined him. I got here on the 24th of December 1970.
Michelle: Wow so when you came here into Canada, what were your thoughts?
Aunty Felicia: Oh well it was cold. It was difficult because when I was coming, my husband sent me and my son—he’s now a big man. He was born in 1970. He was just a baby and then my husband dealt with a travel agency to send us the ticket.
And afterwards, he sent winter coats with the travel agency to send to us. But on the day of us leaving, the winter coat didn't arrive so we boarded the plane without winter coats.
Michelle: Eish!
Aunty Felicia: But It wasn't bad coming from Ghana but then when we were on the Atlantic Ocean, oh boy it was very, very cold. So I was wearing my Ebenezer slit and top and then the cover. So what happened was we were so cold. We came with Pan-Ama at that time so we were given a blanket to cover my son so I covered my son with the blanket. Inside the plane wasn't so bad so we got off.
When we were landing at JFK, there was turbulence so we couldn't land on time and by the time we landed in US, New York our connection to Canada had already left so we were at the airport. Those days we didn't have cell phones to just make a quick call so you have to go to the payphone.
So I called my husband and told him we missed the flight. We were at the airport and told that we had to sleep at the airport till the next morning and I refused. I said “no way, even in Africa when I travel somewhere by air and then there’s any problem, they give us a hotel. So why should I sleep at the airport?”
So eventually we were given a hotel. So I went down to the hotel. We were driven to the hotel for the night. The next day, they forgot we were at the hotel so when it was around 12:00, I went to the receptionist and said “why are we still here? They said the flight will be in the morning 10:00 but we're still here.”
She said “oh they might have forgotten about you.” So the receptionist called the airport and somebody came for us later so we boarded a flight from New York around 4:00 to come to Canada. When I go to the immigration they asked me “why are you here?” I said “I'm here to visit my husband or to stay with my husband.” They said “why didn’t you wait until he got his papers?” I said “no I can't wait that long I missed him.” They said “okay, what is his name?” So they paged him and he came for us to take us home.
Michelle: Awww.
Aunty Felicia: Yeah that was how good it was at that time.
Michelle: Yeah, so much has changed since then.
Aunty Felicia: Very, very much. We came as business people not as refugees. At that time, my husband was passing on to the US and they begged him to stay in Canada. But if it is today, they would tell you to go on and go to where you want to go. Those days were good.
Michelle: Just in terms of like 1970, were there even any Ghanaians in Canada at that point?
Aunty Felicia: There were a few Ghanaians but mostly they were students. They were students at UofT and other universities around. Sometimes when you want to meet a Ghanaian, we had one place that we used to shop. It’s still there—the Jewish market on Spadina. So when you go to the Jewish market, all of a sudden you hear somebody speaking any Ghanaian language, you say “hello I am also a Ghanaian.” That is how we met each other there. So that weekend, you’d meet again at one person’s house and just have fun. Cook some Ghanaian food and have fun and we’re happy because we're eating now with each other.
Michelle: Aunty so how did you connect with specifically the Ewe community in Ghana?
Aunty Felicia: Do you mean Ghana or Canada?
Michelle: In Canada.
Aunty Felicia: In Ghana, that was my parents’ job. We just watched them as they did their traditional stuff. We never got involved because we were born in Kumasi. We were more or less Ashanti. I was more involved in the Ashanti culture than my Ewe culture.
Even if it wasn't my mother who was strict, we wouldn’t be able to speak the language at all. Because we were more Ashantis than being Ewes. That was when I was growing up in Ghana. But later on when I came, we just had an association.
We didn't have an Ewe Association or Ashanti Association. It was later that we started to. In the 80s is when we started to break into all these tribal associations. But when we came in the 70s, we had only one Ghana union. That's all we had—Ghana Association that we were trying to get all Ghanaians to come together.
The first association was started in 1973 when we lost one young man. His name was Boadu. He was traveling. He got admission at a university in London, Ontario. As he was traveling there, he was involved in an accident and died.
So that is when we decided that we have to come together because here we are Ghanaians. We had never lost anybody and all of a sudden we have a body that we have to take care of. So we came together and contributed what we can and approached the Ghana consulate in Ottawa.
And two or three weeks later, they were able to help out with some money and we sent the body back home to the family. So that was our first association. It was called Ghanaian Benevolent Society. I was the financial secretary at that time for the association so we went on and on but as typical Ghanaians, it was difficult coming together at that time. So we tried for a while but it just died down.
Michelle: What made it difficult to come together? What happened? Why did it die down?
Aunty Felicia: Well you know our people, some thought they were more educated than others and then few of them didn't have much education. So when we go to meetings and they were trying to express themselves, somebody would start laughing and say “well your English is bad.” So It became difficult then they'll be fighting, arguing and all that because they're being put down by those who think they are intelligentials, that they have more education. So that is what really caused a lot of trouble at that time.
Michelle: Oh I see. That's not nice. You go and you feel like you're gonna be amongst your people and then people are putting you down. That doesn’t sound good at all.
Aunty Felicia: Exactly. We were trying to tell them that English is not our language. At that time we had Greeks, Italians and Chinese. We see them in politics, some of them can hardly express themselves but they are representing their people. And it's not their language, everybody knows that. The little English that they have, they use it.
But our people for some reason, they think they are lawyers and doctors and whatever so they [think they] don't have to respect the person who is not [within that field]. It became a big problem at that time so that is how those who couldn't express themselves well stopped coming to the meetings. And then it just dwindled away as time goes on.
Michelle: While you were in Canada, what kind of things did you and the family do to sustain yourself while you were here?
Aunty Felicia: When I came, my husband was a jeweler. And I'm using “was” because he passed away four years ago. But he was a jeweler, what they would call goldsmith by the Ghanaian standard.
So he was a jeweler and he worked with a few companies before he opened up his own business. And myself, when I came, I had my son and then I had a daughter immediately as I came. I got pregnant and then had a daughter. And also later on, my husband believed that as the kids were young, there's no point that I go to work.
So I stayed home a bit and then later on, I had twin boys. But before the twin boys, I went back to college. I went to Centennial college and I took a medical and commercial secretarial course and I worked with the college. After I finished Centennial college, I was hired there so I worked as an enrollment clerk with the college.
Also afterwards, I worked with another company before I got pregnant with the twins.
Michelle: How was your experience while you were I guess working with those companies? What was your experience like because back then what time period was that? Was that still in the 70s or was that later on?
Aunty Felicia: At that time, discrimination was there but once you are hired by a company, you know that they don't have that kind of intolerance so they will hire you. And I worked with Centennial college, it was good.
Systemic discrimination was there but it is not the person or the boss or the manager who are hired you who is discriminating against you. Sometimes it’s some of the staff members and if you know your rights, you can always argue with them.
And also if you're doing what you're doing and are doing it well, they have nothing against you. They can’t stop you. As they say, if you’re Black, anything you are doing within a white environment, you have to do it two or three times better so that nobody will put you down or try to fire you for what you are doing.
So I worked as an edit clerk. I was editing invoices before it sent out so I worked here for a while but that’s after I had the twins. I still wanted to work but then it was difficult for my husband because he didn't want me to work, period.
So anytime I tried to work, he would start fighting that I stop because most of the money is going to babysitter because by then, I had four kids: my son, my daughter and the twins. So he thought most of the money is going to babysitters.
So while I was with Scepter, he decided we will be moving back to Africa so I should learn something that when I go to Africa, I can open my own business. So I look around and I said “what else.” By then there was a lady who was selling a beauty salon so he said “okay, why don't you go and learn the hair business so that I can buy you this salon before we go back to Africa.”
So I thought about it and I said “well, he meant well.” So I resigned from my company and then I went to hairdressing school. So I started with one in Scarborough called Topaz and then I ended up at Bruno’s where I finished. When I finished, I worked with few salons then I started teaching at Topaz. I taught there for a while and then opened up my own business.
Michelle: Aww that’s cool. So you opened up your own hair salon after?
Aunty Felicia: Yes, I opened up my own salon around ‘89. It was in Scarborough. So while working in my own business—because of what I do and I do it well, I continued to study. I went to several schools in the US to better myself because I know that when I go to Ghana, I wanted to open up a school, a cosmetology school so I studied very well. I continued going to Dudley’s university and after that, when I came back, I was also nominated to work on the movies in Toronto.
So I was doing hair on movies.
Michelle: Ohh...that’s dope.
Aunty Felicia: Yeah a lot of movies in Toronto. And I was hired to teach cosmetology again at Marvel’s School of Hair Design. So I was working on movies, I had my salon and I was also teaching. Then the competition came in Toronto, the Black hair stylist competition. So I entered that and in 1994, I won the hairstylist of the year.
Michelle: Wow that's amazing.
Aunty Felicia: So I kept on with it until I retired. We were going to move to Ghana but then because of circumstances that came, we couldn’t go back. I couldn’t go back. My husband went and came back again. But because of disappointments and family not helping with what we wanted to do, money being wasted by family and all that, we ended up staying back.
Michelle: How did you feel about your plans being changed? Were you disappointed that you couldn't go to Ghana and do what you wanted to do or how did you feel when the plans changed?
Aunty Felicia: Well we lost a lot because when our goods arrived in Ghana—all our belongings and everything—two weeks before the ship landed, that was when Rawlings had the coup. Because my husband had a contract with the Limann’s government to go and open up a jewelry factory in Ghana.
So all that contract was signed by the Limann government but then the new government refused to fulfill it, which is the Rawlings government. So I mean more or less, all our plans went down the drain and everything that we sent there was mismanaged by family members. So that's why we had to start all over again. It was a big disappointment by then.
Michelle: Just continuing on with staying in Canada and all of that stuff, you said you used to be part of that association and that kind of fell off. Did any new associations come up and were you part of it and how were you connecting with the community?
Aunty Felicia: It was funny. All of a sudden you'd see another group would start to form it again and then it will go down. It kept on going on until the 80s when the tribes decided...then the Ashanti Association was formed and it's still here. The Ashanti Association is still strong and here. We started the Asante Association. We helped in every way that we can. I am one of the people who helped train the children to do the traditional dance, the Adowa dance at that time.
And I helped with the inaugurations and everything. The first headband and afena and all that that the first chief used, I crafted them all. They didn't bring anything from Ghana. I crafted the headband, the sword and everything that the first chief used in Toronto here. I was a member of the association also for a while.
Michelle: That's really cool that you were such a pivotal member of the group and started doing things from scratch. That's really cool. And you said there were other groups forming, different ethnic groups. I know you said you were very much immersed in the Asante culture. Also with the Ewe culture, were you able to connect with other people through an Ewe association?
Aunty Felicia: Yes. When my mother passed away and I was going home, I had a friend—she passed away now. Her name is Charity. She saw me off at the airport and I said “Charity, when I'm gone, try to gather some women so that when I come back we can form a women's association, a women’s group that will be there for each other in times of need like this.”
So when I came back, she gathered a few Ewe women so we formed an organization called the Ewe Women’s Association of Toronto and also I was the leader. And we did a few conferences, we visited few events and stuff like that. We went on for a while but then I became so busy in my work—working on the movies, looking after my salon and teaching was just too much for me to be involved in any organization again. So I kind of pulled myself from a lot of the activities including the Ashanti organization and every other organization. I pulled myself a bit off that.
Michelle: Okay and quickly Aunty, what’s a movie that you worked on?
Aunty Felicia: It's so many.
Michelle: What’s one movie that you can list? I’m sure people will be curious.
Aunty Felicia: One movie that you will see my hairstyle is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
Michelle: Oh wow!
Aunty Felicia: Yeah, most of the styles on there I did.
Michelle: Wow, that's amazing.
Aunty Felicia: I worked on so many. American Prince. So many, so many movies. I have to take my list. I worked on over 200-300 movies and I worked for private production companies where I keyed their movies. I keyed so many of them. I forgot. If I’d known, I would’ve pulled my files out to give you some of the movies that I keyed in Toronto.
Michelle: Wow, that’s really cool though Aunty. I’m sure you have a long, long list.
Aunty Felicia: I think it's because I was doing too much, I started to burn out. I had a lot of pains in my body. It was just so much that I couldn't handle anything again so I sold my salon and I was teaching and working on the movies but later on...
The last movie I did was 50 Cent’s. How to get rich, I think.
Michelle: Ohhh with the rapper 50 Cent?
Aunty Felicia: Yes.
Michelle: How to Get Rich or Die Trying? I gotta watch it now Aunty.
Aunty Felicia: Yes, that’s it! These days my memory is not as sharp as it used to be so forgive me. Yes, that was the last movie I did. I was in so much pain that I was carried off the set. I was the president of the Black Hairdressers Association of Ontario. I was also the vice president.
Michelle: Wow so doing all of that stuff, I can imagine the impact on your body and even your emotional wellbeing just being so busy all the time. So how did you take care of yourself after you reached that point of burning out?
Aunty Felicia: I started going to church around ‘93-’94. I was going to church before but not a Ghanaian church. I was going to church in my neighborhood. I went to Baptist Church but there was few racism even at the church at that time. I remember we’d go to church and sometimes they’re having events.
I'll go down with my children and even the pastor himself would not sit next to us. He would walk right past us and sit with other white people in the congregation. So you know, it was difficult going to church at that time but then because I wanted my children to know about Christ, we were going.
And then later on, I met my brother-in-law. We met him because when he came to Canada he was looking for us. But for some reason, we never met until around ‘93 so we started going to church and that's when I stopped most of the associations and got involved in church more. Which I’m still involved in.
Michelle: Even right now, what other kinds of things do you do to take care of yourself and ensure that you're well physically and also emotionally?
Aunty Felicia: I’m relaxed more because my children are grown, it’s not like when they were young. They’re grown. I’m relaxed now. And also, I’m involved in the church. As soon as I got to church, I was involved in the hostess ministry. I’m still in the hostess ministry since I went to church.
And then I am also the leader of the prayer group. We have a prayer line that people call in on Tuesdays. On Tuesdays, our pastor preaches on television and people phone in for prayers. So I’m the leader for that group. And also, we have a seniors’ group at church and also I’m the leader for the seniors’ group. And I'm also a cell leader.
Once you’re involved, you can never stop being involved. You always want to help. Because I am a community person and I love to help my fellow human being. So I’m still helping.
And right now, we have the Ghana union, that I just started about a couple of years now. And I’m involved. And it’s going on, by God’s grace. It’s better than ever so we have the youth group, the seniors’ group. We have the general group, we have children's homework group.
And it is just fantastic the way it's going. So I’m involved. And right now during the COVID, I make sure that our seniors in the community...our president, through Ghana union we got in touch with United Way and First Harvest.
And they provide cooked meals for organizations who want to help their people. So we got involved with that. So every Friday, we get about 200-250 and I make sure that people in the community—the seniors and the needy are served every Friday.
The youth group are fantastic. We got youth volunteer drivers and some pastors actually in the community also help with the driving. So every Friday I get about seven, eight, nine drivers and they take the food and they go all over with the list that I have and they deliver food to all these cities and the needy every Friday.
Actually today one of the youth ladies has a birthday and she decided since she can’t have a party, the money that she would use for the party, she’ll use it to cook for the seniors. So actually as I’m sitting here, we have about eight drivers out there delivering waakye and kenkey to the seniors and the needy in the community.
Michelle: Wow, that's amazing and even with everything that's going on in the world right now, with the anti-Black racism in the US and in Canada as well, I've just been thinking a lot about community and how important that is, how you know it's important to just be there for each other and just nourish our communities and nourish ourselves as well and so it's so great to hear that the Ghanaian community in Toronto is doing that as well. That’s really good.
Aunty Felicia: Yes, this is the first time we’re actually reaching out to each other as a group and I mean we are strong because if anything happened to anybody in the community...right now I am so impressed. We rally around and we help and I have never been excited in my life than now with the Ghanaians in Canada, Toronto persay.
Because we got a dynamic team with the president being strong and then the team being supportive, we are getting somewhere. So we are praying that soon we’ll be able to build our heritage centre where Ghanaians, seniors, everyone and the kids can go and sit and practice their culture and everything.
Michelle: Yeah, that would be really, really amazing to see. Speaking of practicing the culture and everything, just being part of all these associations and just your experiences and your role as an elder today, what are some cultural traditions or customs that you'd like to impart onto the future generation?
Aunty Felicia: Last time the youth had a concert, a virtual concert because of this COVID. Actually we’re happy because we were able to raise $2000 from that and give all the money to help with the seniors' cause.
I spoke with them. I said it was beautiful what they did, but I would like to see more culture because that is one of our aims now. As seniors, we have to try as much as we can to impart most of the culture to our kids.
Because when we came here in the 70s, believe me it was hard—trying to let your children speak the language—because I remember, my son was only about four-five and he was in school, I think junior kindergarten or grade one. And he was a quiet boy so the teachers who called me to school asked me “why is your child so quiet" because sometimes he will speak a certain language and say ‘bra’ to his friends or something like that. So are you speaking your language to him at home?”
I said “yes.” They said “no, no, no. You have to stop speaking your language. It will confuse him because now he’s learning everything here and then if he has to learn your language also…” And I said, “we grew up learning four, five languages just growing up in the neighborhood and it didn't confuse us in any way learning the English language so why would that affect our children?”
But then they insisted and then being in a new country, I don't know anything so we decided okay. I will just speak English to him at home so that it makes it easier for him at school. But boy, were we ever wrong.
We should have stick to that so I find out today that most Ghanaians are also doing that. Today, they speak English to their children. Even when I went home, I was so shocked to learn that all the young kids growing up in Ghana as little as a year-two years, their parents are speaking English to them. They don't speak their language anymore and I was so mad and upset and begging them not to do that because they are losing the culture.
And once you lose your culture, your root is gone. You’ve lost your root. So why don't they speak our language? It's like a fancy thing, speaking English or hearing their children speak English. So this is how it is. I remember going to school you can’t speak Twi. We were learning vernacular but you can’t speak it cause someone says speak English, which is wrong.
Now look at the Chinese in [Ghana]. They are putting their children in school to learn African language and our own children are not learning so we see what is wrong with that? Our children are gonna grow up and they can't speak their own language in their own country and the Chinese kid will be speaking our language so who is going to be in charge?
So these are some of the things that we have to enforce here, beg parents because we are learning from the Chinese and the Indians that it’s wrong that you don't let your children learn their culture so we have to try.
Now we have schools. When you go on the Ghana union platform, we have posted online schools for our children to go on and learn how to speak Ghana languages.
Michelle: That's good.
Aunty Felicia: Also there’s a homework club that is also helping the Ghanaian kids with their homework. So we've come far and then we're going far. I am praying that by the time I leave this Earth, our culture, our heritage is passed on to our kids and they are practicing it.
Michelle: And you know, I’m glad that the Ghanaian Canadian Association exists so that a lot of youth and a lot of different people can refer back to that and see how they can sustain their cultures and all of that so I'm glad for that being there for us.
What's one key lesson that you've learned in life so far?
Maybe as a young woman specifically, to other young women. What's one key lesson that you've learned?
Aunty Felicia: One key lesson that I’ve learned is you have to learn to be humble, you have to learn to forgive, and then you have to also learn give to others, to be there for each other. Not in a financial way as such because someone will say that “oh but when someone has funerals, we go and all that.”
We’re not going to the funeral just like that because those putting on the funeral are putting it on because they want to recoup some of their expenses. So I know sometimes when you go to a funeral and you don’t give anything, nobody will call and say “thank you for coming” because those who go and give are the ones that they will call to thank.
But selflessness, be there for each other. Also, as parents, learn how to deal with your children at home because whatever you put out, that is how they will grow up to be. Most children will listen to their mothers gossiping on the phone all day. They will listen to their fathers putting them down all day. And they will say “you have to grow up to be a better person.”
But how do children grow up to be better people if all that you put in them is what they hear you or they see you do? Because you the parents are the Bible that your children read so I would say— not the Bible, the book that they read.
The Bible is the word of God and it is powerful and it is good. Whatever you write in that book in their lives, that is what they will grow up to be. So if you are telling them they're no good, they're not going to grow up to amount to anything, they are stupid, they are foolish, they are all that and their mother’s sitting on the phone gossiping about the whole world, about everybody and they leave their children to fend for themselves…
All these things affect your children as they are growing up. So if they are growing up and couldn't amount to anything, it's not their fault. It’s the parents’ fault. So what I’ll say is: be careful how you talk at home. Bring your children up the way you want them to be. As the Bible said, bring the children up in the way and they will not depart from it when they grow up.
So if you bring them up in a godly way and you teach them good values and morals, they will not depart from it. But if they just listen to what you say and then you turn around to tell them to do it the other way, it's not going to work.
The youth–they're trying very well, they're trying very hard but then deep within, you don't know how they grew up and how they feel. So this is what we have to teach our second generation. So wherever we err, wherever we went wrong, they will not repeat it with their children so that we have a better generation to come.
Michelle: Thank you so much again. I know this has run longer than we initially planned for but you had so many gems and so much experience to discuss so it's all good. So Aunty before I let you go, if anyone wants to connect with you online, where can they connect with you?
Aunty Felicia: I am on Facebook as Felicia Botchway. I am also on WhatsApp, the same name. I am on Instagram as Felicia Botchway.
With the seniors’ group, we are hoping that as things start moving, we would like to set up many groups within the seniors. There are a lot of seniors and we have a lot to share. I was married for 50 years before my husband passed away. There are a lot of seniors who were married for 30 years and they’re still married. And there is a lot of wisdom, a lot of business people, a lot of professional people, a lot of skills with the seniors that we have retired with. So we will like to form groups and have platforms that’ll be able to help our second generation very much. So that they can pass it on to the third, fourth generations that is to come in our community.
So we are willing and ready to do that. We want to open the door for our young to be able to come to us and learn from our experiences and how to deal with every situation that they are in.
Michelle: That sounds amazing and I think that’s so well needed. That sounds really great. And Aunty, thank you so much again for giving me your time to talk to me and be part of this podcast. I really appreciate it.
Aunty Felicia: You’re very welcome my dear. Anytime.
***
Michelle: Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed our conversation. I definitely did. And if you have any feedback, comments, reactions, use the #AsaseBaPod and follow Asase Ba on Twitter and Instagram @AsaseBaPod.
Also, you can feel free to email asasebapod@gmail.com as well. And this podcast is published every two weeks so I will see you in two weeks. But yeah, I’ll be on Instagram and Twitter as well. Share your reactions, share your feedback, don’t keep this to yourself. So again, I will see you in two weeks’ time. Bye!
[Asase Ba Theme Music]
Episode Notes
In the season 2 premier of Asase Ba, Michelle talks to Mrs. Felicia Botchway about growing up in Ghana during Independence, her family’s journey from Togo, to the Volta Region to Kumasi, The Young Pioneers, herbalism, immigrating to Canada in the 1970, intelligentials, connecting with her Ewe community, her work as a hairstylist and salon owner, how she practices self care, racism in the church, helping seniors during COVID-19, wisdom for the youth and parents, and much more!
Join in on the conversation! Use the hashtag #AsaseBaPod.
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GUEST
Mrs. Felicia Botchway
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HOST
This podcast is produced, edited and hosted by Ghanaian Canadian Michelle (pronouns: she/her). She is also the creator of the theme music.
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